Somewhere To Open

Hi there.

I have been writing stories for about five years and attempting to write a novel in that same time. This novel has had ups and downs, good versions, bad versions and childish versions. One of my friends has read almost every version and she thinks I am mad for not dumping it after five long years. The problem is that I love it, I love the characters and I love the plot and I love everything about it but I hate my writing.
You see, dear Reader, I suffer from a most dangerous affliction that goes by the title 'insecurity' and despite wanting to publish this book (eventually), I cannot bear to let anybody bar three people within my immediate circle of friends to actually read anything I am proud of. Mostly for fear of being ridiculed. I don't let family read anything and I don't ask for advice from people who would know exactly what they're talking about (Not to undermine those three who do read my work. I know you have the knowledge, I don't doubt your abilities). Sometimes I can barely even read it myself.
So then that friend of mine that I mentioned earlier opened up a blog of her own. It's great, all creative and journalistic and right up your street if that's why you have come to me. She told me that she liked doing it because it is a way to write regularly and that it is fun to experiment with different genres and types of creative pieces and letting the world see it. She told me that some of her readers are from America and Germany and having people from all walks of life reading her stories really gives her faith in her own writing. Which I really want...nay need. Thus she told me to go for it.
So here we are; you and me, ready to start the long journey it will take to write my novel (really, I swear I will get past chapter six this time).

I had trouble naming this place. A place where I was honest and vulnerable and choosing to expose the small hobby I had been keeping to myself for five years. I tried a few things that didn't work out and then put a few words together that sounded good and realised that it was close to perfect. To you it might sound like a jumble of words so i want to justify myself. "Somewhere To" I imagine you will follow but when you add 'open' I realise it gets slightly confusing.
Did you know that when you look up the word 'open' in the Microsoft Works Word Processor's dictionary it has 42 meanings in the first section? I picked a few out here for you:

1.	not closed or locked: allowing people or things to pass through freely

3.	not sealed: not sealed, fastened, or wrapped

6. frank and honest: not trying to hide anything or deceive anyone

8.	receptive: ready and willing to accept or listen to something such as new ideas or suggestions

9.	vulnerable: in a position in which blame, criticism, or attack are likely

10.	not enclosed: having no boundaries or enclosures

13.	freely accessible: accessible to all, with no restrictions on entry, membership, or acceptance

And that's me, that's what i'm trying to do here. I want this to be a place where I can be open and honest and vulnerable, where I don't hold back and don't become afraid of what people think of my writing. A place where I expect people to dislike my work but hopefully like it too. I'm starting here; 'opening' here. A step into publishing my novel.
You have to open somewhere right?

I hope you come back, tomorrow, and next week and the following week. I hope you read my work and like it. I hope you think this is a good place to open.