Pompeii

Hey all.

So...its been a long time since we were last here. Recently my friend had been bullying me into writing again and this evening I was listening to Pompeii by Bastille (whom this friend also insisted I listen to) and I came up with this. Its a little...bizarre, but I hope you enjoy it.

Our rusty old Ford pulled up and with a wince at the blistering sunshine I slid my sunglasses over my pained eyes. Mum handed me the sun cream and I began to plaster it over my my ruby-red arms as we walked towards the ruins. To be honest, I wasn’t quite sure what I was doing there; all of my friends were at Disneyland, posting daily photos online of all the fun they were having without me. Naturally I had been an idiotic child who had agreed to go on a family holiday the summer before I started university. I don’t deny that Italy is beautiful and I love being there with my family, but I’m still a little hazy about the decision making process that led me to sunburn over rollercoaster’s.

My evil little brother ran ahead and my parents walked along calmly behind him, used to the hyper nature of children. As long as he was in sight and not jumping on anything that was valuable, they didn’t really care. I sloped along at the back, scrolling through the latest Disney pictures that had been posted. My best friend Jess was standing with Peter Pan, a disgustingly huge grin spreading across her face. The title she had given the picture was ‘Is it just me or was Peter Pan really hot?’. Naturally she had tagged me in every picture they had posted, just to remind me I wasn’t there.

As I stepped into the ruins, a crippling sense of déjà vu washed over me. It was so utterly painful, building from the place where my feet touched the ground, pumping through my body until I found  myself crouching, unable to stand up, unable to think, unable to speak. I was dying I had to be, I was dying. Abruptly it all disappeared. I was fine. There was nothing wrong at all. Up ahead Mum and Dad were still strolling along behind Euan. I pretended to tie my shoelace so I didn’t look like I was going mad and stood back up, shaking my head.

I took a few steps then turned, looking up at the volcano, which had begun to smoke, “The gods have begun their ruling.” I muttered looking up at the ashy sky before walking on.

I stopped again. Where had that come from? The volcano was fine! I turned back to mum and dad but they were out of my sight. I started into a jog, following the ruins of the streets as if I knew them. It took me a few minutes to realise I wasn’t even going the way my family had been, I was just letting my feet guide me along the destroyed streets. Looking around I decided I was at the baths. I sat across from them and waited. When noon arrived Caius would arrive round the corner as he did almost every day and wave at me with that mischievous smile that I couldn’t help adoring more and more every time I saw it. Finally the sky touched its height and he lolloped around the corner. I ran to him and pushed him into the shadows from prying eyes.

“Marcella,” he laughed, taking my face in his hands, “What is your rush today? I shall see you later, shall I not?” He raised his eyebrows and for a moment I wished that everything was fine and I could act as if the world was normal.

“Do you not feel it Caius?” I begged. If anybody could understand how I felt today, he would. At least I hoped he would - Caius was always there for me. “The tremors of the earth grow stronger and stronger every day, and this morning there is smoke in the air, as if the sky is on fire! The gods are making judgement on the people of Pompeii. Apollo is telling me this, I swear to you, he is giving me sight.”

“My love, calm yourself. The sky is not burning, this will pass, just as the tremors do. If indeed it is a sign from the gods we must take it as a blessing, that Vulcan has chosen the mountain as his new home. Fear not.” He pressed his lips to mine. “I will come later, as I always do and I promise you. This will have passed.”

He left then, returning to the life that I was not permitted to be a part of. I myself walked home. I ran my fingers across the walls, took in the marble and the stone. I studied every form of art that my eyes could catch and hoped that it would not be the last time I saw these things. If it was, I was determined to see everything one more time.

       My husband would not be home for days if he returned at all. Every time he left, I begged the to the gods that he would not return to me. So I sat alone in the darkness of my empty house, watching the smoke from outside curl thicker and thicker as I waited. In front of me I had a bowl of water in which I was dampening cloth and holding it across my mouth. I did not know if it was working but I could only hope.

“Please,” I begged Vulcan, “Please stop, the smoke is going to kill us, I know it, please.”

I was sure there was bangs and flashes in addition to the smoke, screaming too, but to keep my sanity I pretended it was not there and instead continued to pray. To Vulcan to stop the smoke, to Jupiter to clear the sky, to Venus to bring Caius back to me, to the household gods to keep me safe.

Eventually Caius stumbled into the house. His skin was blackened with ash and he was coughing dangerously. I rushed to him with my bowl and helped him swallow back the liquid within. He clung to me, weeping in a way that respectable young men should not. It pained me to see him this way, but I did not ask, I did not comfort him. I just waited.

“You were right, Marcella,” he wept, “The sky is falling on us, the mountain is on fire. The other side of the city is burning and so many are dead already. I almost never made it to you…” he began to cough again and I pulled him into my arms, rocking him back and forth. When his coughing subsided, he whispered, “We are going to die Marcella. I don’t want to die.”

I leant back and looked at him, tears breaking in the corners of my eyes. “Neither do I.”

He kissed me then, forgetting that the sky as falling, forgetting that every time he coughed, I could have sworn he coughed up ash and smoke, forgetting that the world was falling to pieces and that the gods were punishing us all. Together we sat huddled together on the floor until the cinders settled in our lungs and Pompeii fell silent.

“Ella! Ella! There you are! What’s wrong my love? What on earth is wrong?” I looked up and the sky was a bright and clear blue, my mother stood over me, trying to gauge why I sat alone huddled in the midst of the ruins of the city. I stared at her and looked around the stone. 

“I lived here Mum,” I told her, “This was my home…I…I died here.”